Ideas are a tricky thing, or at least in my experience they can be. They can come and go quite easily, and what may have seemed like a good idea the previous day comes across as ridiculous the following. Not only that, but there is the part where you may like an idea and consider it the perfect thing for that moment, but to others it’s far from that act of brilliance you meant to share with the world.
I’ve always had this difficulty with separating those things out. So often the ideas that I like are given a warm pass by those that I test the waters with. To go with that, the directions that I sometimes think are nothing special are seen as others to be amazing. I’m quite positive that this problem is far from unique to just me, of course. Will others like what I’m doing? I don’t know.
Problem is, if you don’t try then you absolutely will fail.
So here we are. This is my blog and I realized after I finally opened it that I hadn’t written here in over two years. How did that happen? How in the world did two years pass in the blink of an eye?
With how long it had been, I made the split-second decision to purge what had been here before. Instead, you now get to see the me of today. The me of today can’t necessarily relate to what was written by the me of two years ago. Life has changed, I have changed, and yet that desire to do more remains. Funny how that works, isn’t it? We as people can grow and develop to be something different over time, but some things linger in our minds, right at the very back, repeatedly saying ‘but I want to…’ For me, that ‘want to’ is writing. My life has changed, my situation has changed, but that desire remains. It’s easy to say that I want to, and it’s easy for the people around me to encourage that, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s a constant battle to want but worry. To plan and fail to follow through. To have the best of intentions, but to let fear of failure to walk all over you to create complacency.
For all I know, another two years will pass after this blog post before I write again, but I hope not. I have a lot to say, and if that desire to do something has lingered for this long then maybe it’s meant to be.